The time in the day, though light, crawls.

I go by it, and then, evening approaches and I smile a small smile of triumph.

Hours tick by, and night rushes in. You call and I am overjoyed. I speak in a rush, in a hurry to get every important detail and question in.

Something hangs at my heart, not weighing a ton, but still heavy.

Like clockwork, almost fifteen minutes later, you tell me you have to go.

The weight sinks, and I know it's not your fault.

I'd been expecting it, but still it sinks.

Darned rules.

Some days, we end the conversation as best as we can, some days, simply hurriedly.

Everyday.

I'm heading out, it's a holiday, and for the first time in years, I'm paying attention.

The world seems lighter, I skip in my steps, and I'm patient- for minutes do not matter when I'm waiting.

You're here, and like on the phone, I yearn to fit as much into the conversation as possible.

I am sincerely curious about what happens everyday, and you answer dutifully. I may be wrong but there's a hint of excitement in your voice and of resentment.

I suppose not everything's merry inside and I mentally reproach the tough government.

You're still talking, but my mind has drifted away and it now floats off with whatever has just distracted me. It follows a passing stranger and after is pulled further by a random thought.

The expression I wear is still interested and in an instant, I snap out of it and tug myself back into the moment.

I decide to ask you to repeat what you've just said because though I may not concentrate very well, I do not want to miss a thing.

But again, it takes alot to focus what with the BMTs, and platoons and companies and IPPTs... what?

I remind myself that this is but a brief meeting and your presence is fleeting.

I want to slap myself for all the times I pulled a long face for hours in a day for whatever petty reasons.

Soon enough, it's time for you to leave.

We eat, I am sullen and I see so are you.

Still, we smile not wanting things to feel more difficult than it already is.

I dread the time for you to get into a cab, but time isn't slowing down.

We leave, we walk. Your haversack's so big ! My throat thickens, darn the government again.

I'm sleepwalking, reluctant, but the hour has passed and you wave behind the glass.

I trudge off slowly, light with the heavy dose of you and heavy at the same time with your departure.

Departure sounds so macabre. 

But you know what I mean.

Once again, my mind is in my mind, I'm not watching from somewhere else, desperately hoping for time to slow.

Once again, the weight tugs relentless and the thickness in my throat is dangerously approaching my nose. 

Something in my hand vibrates, it's my phone- or your phone better put.

The illuminated text wipes away my sour demeanor, you with your words, always so good with them. And I know, I've been a very big baby. 

It's a far far cry from the end of the world, and I know, this week I'll do better.

The weight lifts, for how long, I'm not sure, but I know, we'll come out of this alright.