It's a bad month. 

I never knew having a certain someone leave for the army could be so difficult.

Blah.

I feel so whiny. Whining and moping around all the time.

Other girls seem to get by this just fine. Or maybe they don't say anything about it. Or maybe it's because I don't have any close friends who's experiencing the same thing.

Lol. Being a bum doesn't help at all. I can't even muster up the drive to comb my hair, put on a decent t-shirt to head out get lunch for myself. Most days, I'd rather go hungry.

Going out feels like a chore, work- is just- work.

Bah, humbug.

I suppose I only have myself to blame- dating someone my own age.

I used to think a year older would be almost too young.

Ah, but fate is a funny thing isn't it.

It may sound like I'm complaining, which I really probably am. But.

I don't think I'd have it any other way. 

Of course if the government suddenly, miraculously, impossibly, comes around and decides to give these poor boys a break from their almost two years sentencing, chooses to make it non compulsory, I wouldn't complain either.

Listening to other people talk about it, reading NS related statuses on facebook never really got a second glance from me. I just- didn't think it would affect me so directly.

Hm.

I really should stop whining. It doesn't get anything better.

I guess the silver lining is in that I've seen the errors of my ways.

Well, some of it anyway.

Always letting the precious time go buy with my nose in the air, thinking that we had all the time in the world.

Hai. 20 year old, or no 20 year old, I guess I'm stuck. With this boy who's more often than not well beyond his years, and sometimes so excruciatingly childish I just wanna punch him in the face. But. Very probably also the most wonderful person I'll ever meet.

(:

Anyhoooo.

It's a pretty nice kind of stuck.

Ahem. I AM NOT BEING MUSHY OKAY ! Please. I plagiarized all these sappysappy lines from somewhere else. Hmp.

I am just... feeling a little. Beside myself. 

Hm.

Hm.

Ah well. 

Until the next post then !

Still sitting on my 20th birthday's photos, and Phuket.

Phuket was... lol.

I think it's safe to say it was a holiday like no other.

We just, did almost nothing. I'd write more on it in the next post but. I really kind of liked that holiday.

(:

Enjoy your November, and look forward to the holidays !

Okay. Sorry. I'm a tad pessimistic, paranoid and grouchy these days.

Have a goodnight world.