Hey guys !
Created this space years and years ago thus do forgive
me if it comes off as extremely cheesy. And the incredibly
tacky name. Haha, I get chills everytime I lay eyes on it.
Too lazy to change things though !
I love to write, so have kept myself updating over the years.
I hope you guys enjoy reading me ! ♥
2:30 PM
I'm not that naïve.
It's thursday already. Time does fly. I wanted to write an honest post. But heck- when you think about it, who would write anything truly honest over here? Lol. Few I think. Hm. I think a long naggy heavy post awaits.
We accompanied Zi Qi for her haircut yesterday. It was over at Wei Ting's friend's shop. The place was pretty enough, with it's posh interior and all. I think her haircut took about 2 hours plus. It left Si Ying and me to daze our time away. Haha...
Then Si Ying and I were talking. She asked me if I went to school on the first day alone. She meant Secondary School. Haa. It got me thinking back, we've really come a long way. Then she asked me how I came to hang around with Elaine, and them all. Lol ! I'm really not sure... we talked and it just like that lo.
I think they were the best thing that happened to me throughout these few years.
Sure we all have our differences, we don't see eye to eye on many things, they do get a little eccentric at times, but, that's them. Haha !
But sometimes, even with the closest of friends, there will always be some things you wouldn't say or share. And I hate that.
I remember telling Si Ying with much wonder, soon we'll even be getting married ! And we'll all have children...
Lol. And Si Ying said, " aiya ! you're always thinking about getting married la. Why not you say we'll be getting old very soon. Then going to die... ".
Choi ! Touchwood la. That's still a long time away.
But really what... 16 years passed so quickly. Another 16 years and we'll all be 32. 32 leh ! That's like... ah ma already la. Then none of us will be complaining about pimples anymore. Only wrinkles and those spots old people always nag about. Hai.
As a child- maybe 5 or so, 16 seemed... so senior. I would look at my 16 yeared old cousins in awe. So tall and cheeky.
Lol. Now, I'm 16 and none the wiser. I might even have been more clear headed at 5 lo. Someore... not that much taller either. Hmp. Boo la.
Anyways, my point is... that I have no point. Haha.
I just feel like droning on, so allow me. I nag when there are alot of things on my mind la...
Wei Ting and Si Ying went on to discuss if their choice was right or not. You know. Where we are now... lol. Of course, I can see both of them are already in the place they want to be. I mean, not exactly their dream school la, but as far as their results can bring them (they had good results ok), they're over at where it suits them. I mean... if given another go, they'd still pick the exact same place.
Haha. In circumstances like these, I guess there's no room for regret ba. We picked our own and we got to live with it. And I sound so bummed.
They spoke of the day we wrote our choices in. That things could have happened to place us in an entirely different situation. But things happened like that- and it's all fated.
Fate. I used to think we hold it in our own hands. Now I know, it really is all fated.
In religion, I learn that our life is like a timeline. And that it's already paved out, with him standing at the very end, knowing how it'll turn out for me.
It scares me to think that way when life is going great. I want to believe I pave my own timeline day by day, and that I can change it anytime I want. But when life is... not going so great, I'm comforted. At least, what's happening now, well, maybe it's meant to be and all that I have to do is to let the days pass and watch how it'll turn out. I know, I sound so lazy. Besides, I'm not the one looking from the end of my timeline, so how would I know?
Then shouldn't it be more of a one way street? Where there's only the road ahead, and no turning back?
So lame la. Religion is never straightforward. Lol.
And then...
We remember things in snapshots. And when that certain snapshot is fished out from our memory, we hit the play button to watch it. That's what we do don't we? And it kills me when some people just don't contain these snapshots in time.
When you know, you ask them if they remember, and all they do is give you this perplexed face and smile- saying they don't remember.
Pui.
Lol. Now, I decided that I would prefer to gather all these snapshots, and file them all away in a little corner of my mind which I'll conveniently name, Story of my Life.
That way, when I'm old, grey and wrinkled, I can sit comfortably on my rocking chair and watch these little memories play one by one. And my very pretty grandchildren around me will suddeny pause their playing to whisper to one another, " why Ah Ma always look so faraway on the chair. She sit there won't get bored one meh? ".
Hahahaha ! I know I'm crazy...
(i'll be a very pretty ah ma btw)
Of course, if only things were this simple.
I was so very tempted to write, and I ended up writing about entirely different things. And I happened to be quite honest.
Aiya ! I feel so siao writing about all this. I read it and I don't even know what exactly is it I'm going on about. But it's taken a huge load of my shoulders.
Well, that's all. =)
ps: ziqi's hair turned out great. this goes to show that we shouldn't always judge so readily.
ps again: i havn't felt so clear in the longest time.
ps again again: best o.l.t.y. Here's my exact words t.y. It makes me wonder. Look it up.
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